I got staples put in my head, 8 if you want a number, and I can't help but find it all very, very funny. But let's start at the beginning, shall we? Well, the trouble started on Monday. Mondays are normally very lacking in excitement and this Monday was no different, I soon found myself very bored with a pile of school work waiting to be done. It was about 6pm when I decided to add a little fun to my boring day. I did not have an ER visit in mind when I came up with the thought to jump down the stairs after grabbing a much needed snack, but apparently fate had different plans. I jumped at the wrong time and instead of flinging myself forward and down the stairs, I jumped up and into the low hanging ceiling. I actually do this quite often, so I wasn't phased by it. Sure, it hurt like a banshee, but it was no big deal, I would shake it off and get back to my mountain of school work. Apparently my head clock sounded really painful and after telling my Mom and sisters that I was okay and had only bumped my head I was ready to get back to school. Then I felt it; something warm on the top of my head. Being curious as I am, I placed my hand atop my head and pulled it back for a look. Shockingly enough it was blood, not a lot blood, but blood nonetheless. I called up to Mom that I was bleeding, seeing as I thought she would know about it, and she asked me to come upstairs. I must have been bleeding a lot since my little sister's face fell at the sight of me. The rest happened very quickly, I tried to escape to the bathroom for a quick look at my bleeding skull, but Mom grabbed me, shoved me into a chair and pressed a towel to my head. That hurt quite a bit, so I cried out and she told me the pressure would be good and started to clean off my face. Next thing I know she's stopped the bleeding and Dad's home asking what's happened. My Mom gave him a sort of exasperated look and said something like "Your child cracked her head open." I personally think it's kinda funny, my Mom's usage of that title. Whenever I do something really good or noteworthy Mom says that I am her child. Whenever I do something dumb or get myself hurt, like cracking my head on the ceiling I am my father's child. It kinda reminds me of the Lion King, with Simba woke up his parents and Sarabi said to Mufsa "Your son's awake." And he said "Before sunrise, he's your son." Anyways, the whole 'your child' reminded me of that. Why? Because I need a life outside of Disney, no other real reason. Well, back to the story......
So, Dad and I hop into the famous purple pick-up truck and head off to the Urgent Care near my house. As soon as we get there we notice the place is covered up by people coughing and hacking their guts out. But we are un-phased by all of this, since we are seasoned visitors of the Urgent Care. I am in there all the time because of stupid stunts (my Mom always tells Dad about them and calls me his child, kinda funny), so not only are we un-phased by the sight of hacking, but we also know the drill on getting checked in. Take the paper, fill it out, have small talk with the desk lady and take our seat in the waiting room.
Most of the long wait was spent reading signs and talking about the annoying lack of a cafateria, there was also a funny book quote Dad shared about this woman writing epic door stoppers. We shared a laugh about it and eventually a nurse made her way out into the waiting room. She was asking if we needed anything and saying sorry for the wait. We told her we were fine and the wait wouldn't kill us, she grinned and scuttled her way back to the back room. 20 or so minutes later we were called and I sat down to answer the various questions about how it happened, how much I weighed, if all my shots were up to date. What surprised me was the lack of the 'hidden' question; "do you feel safe at home?" They just passed over that one, or maybe they hid it so well I didn't notice...I guess I will never know.
After the questioning Dad and I headed back to the waiting room for another exciting adventure of sitting and staring at the wall. This lasted for about 10 minutes before Dad noticed a vending machine in the corner, we went for it, baby. Getting half a bag of chips each. I don't know why they only give you half a bags worth besides the fact that they're jerks, but that's what we got and they didn't last long. Not for me, anyway.
Soon we were called into the back room after a couple of goop drops on my scalp. As soon as we were in the room we were basically left to ourselves again, but we now had new things to stare at and talk about. Like the misspelled labels on the drawers and super smart hamsters that were threatening to escape, crawl through the air vents and kill us all. Though I have to say my favorite thing about our exile in the room was the lost doctor. This poor guy, he popped into our room searching for something which he didn't find. I thought that was the end of it, but I was wrong. This guy was walking around the hospital for at least an hour to find whatever he was looking for. It was so freaking funny! Dad and I decided that he'd lost a kidney and would start looking through everyone's packed lunches. Alarms would be going off, people would be screaming, all that fun stuff. Did the doctor find his lost item, I do not know, nor do I think I ever will. I hope he did, though.
Eventually the doctor who was looking for things came into our room and actually wanted to see us. Shocking, I know. He examined my head and decided that I would need some staples. I personally was shocked by this, I thought staples were only used for serious car wreck victims or something, but apparently dorks who clock themselves on the ceiling are qualified as well. Anyway, he took a needle and injected some painkiller into my scalp. This was all fine and dandy, it hurt a little, but I'm a tough kid and I could suck it up. The shocking and funny thing about it all was that in the process of the painkiller injection the doctor managed to break the clot in my gash. At first I didn't notice anything, then I felt a little warmth trickle down my face. I called to Dad who was there and ready with some cloth stuff, and soon I was putting a great amount of pressure on my head.
Soon the bleeding had stopped and the doctor was back with the little stapler. I never saw it, nor did I see the staples go in, I heard it, but that was it. Dad got to watch it, and he said it was cool, so I'll just take his word on it. After that the doctors, nurses, Dad and I had a barrel of fun putting bandages on my head to catch the leaky blood. Everyone had a good laugh and soon I was discharged and Dad and I went to grab burgers. I got a burger king crown to complete my look and soon we were home and I was showing off my bandage to anyone who would look.
All over, a very exciting night.
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